hi.

i know you're staying in Jakarta for few days, weeks, or maybe stay forever.
you just "reunited" with your doggy aite?

just wanna say i miss you.. i miss our friendship.
who had thought we've been not talking since 3 years ago?

you were the one who pushing me from my back, trying to be friend with me. you even gave your number and lemme texted you.

i don't want to sound like lesbian, but you were...... the true friend i ever got in my entire life. not because you're famous/pretty/creative/different at all.

it was all because your thoughts.
how you have changed my life effortlessly and made me happy.

but i have to admit, it was my fault and it still is.

miss you.

haha akhir-akhir ini gue lagi cheesy banget, jadi maaf ya pake bahasa indonesia ngomongnya.

hm sebenernya bingung mau nulis apaan, there's so much things i'd like to write tapi gak tau apaan.

sekolah? rapot? sebenernya bagus cuma nyokap gue terlalu lebay bilang itu jelek blabla padahal uts gue doang yang jelek yang lainnya gampang lah 3 tugas doang yang kosong nih haha dasar sapi beranak diatas antena ditengah sawah.

trus ape lagi dong yang mau diceritain? pacar gua? ruri? oh masih kok masih kok masih mesra HASUHASUAHSUHASUAHSUH gak deng masih biasa aje~

hm trus apa dong maunya? pacaran juga baik-baik aja, sekolah ya moving class bikin capek betis gue gede kali ha ha ha ha

trus gue kurusan loh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA tapi tetep aja lengan perut paha pantat gede najis cewek macem ape lau.


hm beberapa hari yang lalu gue sama mutia ngelakuin lame photoshoot gitu ya liat-liat aje ye nih


ya biasa jelek gitu kan biasa aja abisnya lagi gak terinspirasi... biasanya juga gak ada inspirasi mehuehueheuheuheuheuheuhe




oh iya waktu gue ulang tahun kan ruri ngasih gue kado ya (dan cuma dia doang yang ngasih gue kado masa -______-) trus gue foto-fotoin hahaha (oke itu kampung) dan inilah yang kusuka~



trus sekolah gue ada acara 2 minggu yang lalu ngundang amazing in bed~ dan berfoto bersama~ uhuy kampung.



ini si vira kajola




ciao~

i guess you have realized.... yes..... i'm fatter.
and i can't help to hate my biggie arms, really.

and i really wanna be skinnier.
not as skinny as last year, but the perfect body is if my arms and hips and tummy are smaller.

really i had been wanting to gain some weight BUT NOT THIS.
WHY ME?

:'(

as a teenager, i have to admit i'm enjoying being 16.
and i don't wanna grow up. this body, this year, this age fit me to the core.

cause i'm on my second year on high school, i have to start thinking about where i'm about to go for college. and for fuck's sake, i have no fucking idea.

i hate growing up. WE--teenagers--HATE GROWING UP.
more responsibilities, more problems, and growing up make us a little bit more childish.

being an adult sucks. don't you hate it when an adult told you what to do, how you should behave, when there's a time you only wanna be yourself?

it sucks to the core, trust me. i even imagine, would i be an adult who tell kids what to do? being an overprotective adult? or i would fail as an adult.

this thought keeps bugging me for few days. mom said "you just have to lay down on your couch and let it flow"

well everything can't be always "let it flow" right?
and leaving high school would be super sucks with its super sucks people that i will be super super missing! :(

once i got into high school, i've tasted everything.




and all i want is be with them, do things with them, talk to them every single fucking day, laugh my ass off until i can't breathe.

they're life, they're everything.

i still hope that we'll be together forever, and nothing can break us apart.

i love my friends, i lust lust lust them.
thinking about growing up with them will turn into a laugh, perhaps if my kids are be friends with their kids would be fun :p

xoxo love you!

i've been broken hearted.
your friends try so hard to cheer you up but all you've got this emptiness inside your heart.

and all you're wanting is end this, kill this, tear your heart apart and make your self a cold-blooded kid.

but in the end, you've got your family and your friends.

trying to cheer up an empty space in your heart, trying to let it go by crying every single night, trying to laugh as hard as you can... but the emptiness is still living there. it takes a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade to make it dissapear.

some people might fed up seeing you like this, some people might not give up to see your little smile again.

but there, an empty space still living in your heart. the only one who can fill it is the one you love. who might not come back, who might not be yours anymore. the worst, maybe know that he/she won't ever come back to this world. and all you wanna see is his/her face. to hear his/her voice. but, in the end. it's just a memory now.

if you got lied, you can't lie back.
if you lost everything and sunk to the ground, and you don't know how to reach the sky anymore. even there are so many hands trying to get you.

you still can't.
you still living in the hole.

time flies by.... it will be healed by time. but once we get the second best, we'll still be thinking of the first best of the best. it will dissapear too, as i've told you; it takes time.


there are 2 men in this world had broken my heart and left me in pieces. but time answered my prayers, it healed me, it cured me by giving the another one ;) the very very best best of best! haha

so.... if you read this, i hope you know we still care a lot about you ;) we do we do! even we're not so close but i see from very the first beginning you fell in love then torn into pieces ;)

dedicated to mr. ARP and mrs. AAA :):)